Couple Goals – Chapter 8

When my mom gave me money for my accommodation fees in the polytechnic of lagos, I was really glad because it meant that she had finally come to terms with my decision for my life. It was a struggle to get accommodation in the school so I told a friend who I knew had connections to help me work out mine too. In the end, after so much assurance, she disappointed me and I was so angry. She even had the guts to tell me to give her half my fees so I could squat with her. I was even angrier and I told Kingsley about my predicament.

Kingsley said it didn’t make sense for me to squat with her and even pay for it because I will really be uncomfortable sleeping with her in a student tiny sized bed. He then suggested that since we were both students of the same institution, I could come live with him in his apartment and we could go to school in his car every single day. I was so happy that in my head I was screaming couple goals. I had always gone visiting him at his apartment but living with him seemed more fun and it excited every part of my being.

I didn’t inform my mom or any member of my family about the decision I made because I knew that they being religious christians, they will never succumb to such idea. Living with someone who they don’t even know is my boyfriend? No way! I kept it all to myself and I joyfully packed everything I could call belongings to his house to start the “living with my boyfriend kinda life”.

This life was full of ups and downs but the beginning was full of bliss. We had so much fun together, went on outings and even clubbed. Kingsley’s cousin was married to an artiste’s sister so we always had VIP tickets to places and I had the opportunity to meet so many celebrities. His friends were also the party type so I always had an event to attend every weekend. I had fake friends who beefed each other and Kingsley told me to stay weary of them. These friends told me not to date Kingsley because he was way older than me but I guess they were jealous of the kind of life I was living with him and that made me hold on to him even more.

Before Kingsley met me, he was a big boy who dated fine and classy babes. These babes made me feel insecure because I wasn’t “tush” but Kingsley told me I was more beautiful than them, all combined. He was the one who upgraded my S.U lifestyle to a classy one. He got me clothes, shoes and bags but not hair, I had to figure that one out myself. Kingsley could even borrow money to buy me material things because he wanted me to live up to the standard of the people around him. I was always happy when he got me things, it made him seem very romantic and me, very lucky to have him.

We were such a cute couple in the eyes of everyone who knew us. He was quite popular in school so it was only normal for people to take notice of me too. We drove in to school every morning and left together. We got home and I would cook for us, clean up the house and do any other chore I had. We had friends and visitors come around. We would turn on the generator each and everytime to watch movies and have so much fun. There was even money because he had a rental job which he had cuts from so I would go freely to the market to get foodstuffs and things for the house.

Then one day…

We had a mini fight because he told me to wash his clothes. I mean, I had always done his laundry all those times I came visiting him and that was because he politely begged me. But this time around, he was making laundry my duty. He piled up his so many clothes and expected me to wash it for him. I made it clear to him how much I hated washing and suggested we both do our individual laundry. He got mad at me and started saying I was a very lazy girl. He said when men first meet women they act like they’re all good and hardworking and not until they’re in a relationship do women start misbehaving.

I told him. I said Uncle Kingsley (I used to refer to him as uncle King not until his friends cautioned me) you and I know that I also pile up my clothes because of how much i hate washing. You can’t expect me to do my own laundry and do yours at the same time. His friend who was always around at that time then chipped in that if Kingsley wasn’t lazy he would actually do his own laundry and tell someone else to do it. It was with his statement that Kingsley calmed down and let the matter die.

What’s Next?

Why does everything feel wrong? I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack if I step out of my house due to the virus which we have absolutely no proof of existence in our country, Nigeria. I tried stepping out with a mask on about two weeks ago and I could not just take it. I was scared, scared I was going to run out of breath and will be on the floor with my hands clutching my chest for air. It reminded me of 25th march, the midnight I will never forget in a hurry. Why should breathing be so hard, I pondered. And then I realised, the things we think are normal just aren’t for some people and that humbled me immediately.

In the confines of my home, the internet is a solace for me. But why does everything on there feel so wrong too?


I tried so much to ignore the subject because I knew just how much it was going to get to me. I wanted to be strong for myself by pushing everything aside but it didn’t work. Every social medium I went to, the subject was there waiting to be consumed. And then it got to me.

I started checking and checking. I went through status updates, I went through the trend on Twitter, it was on instagram too, it just couldn’t be helped. I was already messed up with a lot of flashbacks running through my head. And as if on cue, I saw a video on whatsapp of a very young girl child writhing and screaming in pain. Her privates were torn in pieces with no care in the world. She was raped and I felt an overwhelming feeling of powerlessness immediately. I could do nothing about it. I tried to fight off the tears just as I’m doing right now and made a rash decision of deleting my social media apps. I didn’t want to see no more cos I knew I would feel restless for as long as possible, because I knew I might have nightmares and the images and knowledge of what is happening right now will haunt me!

But this piece is not about me. It’s about the many speculations and what-would-have-been because I really have been thinking through it all.

Firstly, I thought of the Father who designed intercourse to be within the confines of marriage. Did He know that things like rape was going to exist if His will wasn’t done? Was He trying to prevent and protect us from mishaps like this one? If so, what about the rape between fathers and their daughters?

Incest. This happened in the bible too, didn’t it?

This is not to disway you from God, believe me, these are just questions running through my mind right now.

If everyone “kept” themselves till marriage, will rape even be a word? If everyone valued the watered down word “virginity”, perhaps there won’t be rape, pornography and the likes. I might be wrong but oh what if.

You know the annoying part about virginity? It’s the fact that only girls are specifically taught to keep theirs. What about the boys? It saddens me so much that even some parents go ahead to tell their sons that he will one day become a “man” so he needs to garner enough experience. The girls may be without experience till they get married and that’s ok. Did the Father who designed intercourse within the confines of marriage not know about this? Oh, you think your knowledge is greater than the one who created you and the knowledge itself? Ok. And what of those parents who are not oblivious of the trend right now but who are failing to call out their children and educate them no matter how “small” they think they are to understand these things? Oh well…

Growing up, my mom never let my ears rest on the subject of rape. It was rampant then and every woman sought to protect their female child but hardly did they warn their sons. As a female child, I couldn’t walk on the streets to run errands past 5pm. I always had to go with my brother who in my mom’s eyes will “protect” me from likelihood danger. As grown as I might be now, my mother still fears for me being out past 8pm. And even though she knows how much of a night crawler I am and can’t really control my movement, she doesn’t hesitate to warn me fervently. This is only normal for a girl child. The fear is being planted in our hearts. I must say that the boys need this fear too and yes, some mothers enlighten their sons but how many? I’m pretty sure we can count if we have to.

Blame can be proportioned to so many people, the parents, the society, social media, government and even the individual. Look, some parents do their job by enlightening both genders of their children but some teenagers or youths also act on self will.


Evil is embedded in the hearts of ALL. It takes a trigger to bring out the devil in us. May be we should ask the rapists why they do what they do. Do they find joy in the cries, struggle, fear and pain of their victims? Do they get so excited with the adrenaline that coarse through their veins due to their insane act? What is the motive behind the thought of the act? How do they feel after they do what they do? Do they think of the next victim? I’m tired of even having these thoughts!

When I think of rape, I ponder on BDSM too. While the former seeks no consent, the latter does. But I get confused because BDSM also has to do with power and pain. How do you feel powerful and happy while causing someone else pain? There are certainly, a lot of differences between rape and BDSM. It might seem like I’m talking rubbish but isn’t the adrenaline the same? Power, submission, pain and pleasure, I wonder…

You want to have cheap sex? There are sex workers for that purpose. You want to have free sex? Ask a friend who you think feels the same. Consent! This brings me down to this thought. Youths tend to have raging hormones, I understand that. Before you kiss someone, don’t you get consent? Why then should you feel consent is not needed if you need to smooch the person? A lot of guys will disagree with me on this cos I’ve had this conversation with a lot of them.

If I give you the green light to kiss me, what makes you think I’ve given you the green light to touch me as well? Isn’t it the same as you telling me to come over to chill? If I end up coming to your house to chill, does that mean I’ve given you consent to have an intercourse with me? Absolutely NOT! so how is it different, please enlighten me.

I asked a couple of guy friends why it seems strange to say no to a guy who wants to touch you. They laughed and said how will I eat “bread without stew”. They then further went to explain that it is actually strange and no guy will want to kiss you without touching you. Was she raped? Why must a woman be raped before she says no to you touching her? I don’t get that either. All I want you to do is respect her wishes. No is no 😩 I don’t care what the situation looks like to you.

I remember a time in 2015, there was a guy who was a link to extras in a popular tv series at that time. We had finished shooting for the day and we were lodged in a hotel. I called this guy a devil cos he looked like one with his over grown beards and red eyes, he was even short. He told the other girls to go home but told me to stay, saying I had other scenes to shoot and all. I didn’t think much of it cos I loved what I was doing then. My friends from the same school left me and bid ourselves bye. I was still at the hotel when he came in and said I should wait for him. He went downstairs and came back upstairs within five minutes. He knocked and entered, even used the bathroom. While he was in the bathroom, it clicked there and then. This was someone who never made advances at me. We joked casually and that was it. I knew something was up when he came out of the bathroom. I was scared but at the same time maintained my cool. Not everyone is like that, I was able to portray the opposite of what I was feeling on the inside.

I really don’t want to talk about this because I have buried this and so much more in the deepest part of my soul but the trend online has triggered them back.

He started making advances at me and all. I laughed, smiled and told him no. He touched me on my arm. I looked at his ugly looking fingers and thought I should yank them off, give him the most insulting words he has ever heard in his life and storm out of the place since my bags were packed already. But then I thought, if he was a rapist, I would prefer to play mind games with him and cunningly get myself out of the situation. I chose the latter thinking of myself, my mom and then the society also. Thoughts like this ran like lightning.

No, I didn’t remove his hands, i endured it for as long as i could. He told me so many sweet things like how he could be a boost in my acting career, how he had helped other girls like me. I smiled through it all cos I not only had principles, I saw through all the bull shit and would never start my career like that. I smiled, smiled, laughed even though it was hurting me and I was scared inside.

I decided to use the reverse psychology on him. All the while, I think I was sitting on the bed. I sat on the bed, took his hands like I wanted to pray for him and started telling him oh nice things. I told him how handsome he was (oh please 😒), I said he was smart and intelligent. I told him a lot of girls would die for him and what he has. I told him he would meet a girl who would genuinely love and care for him. I said I wasn’t that girl and I wasn’t worth him. I told him, if he had his way now, what next? I told him it was a phase and it will pass, just hold on I said. I talked to him like he was a friend and a child at the same time. These are the things guys tell girls so why can’t I do the same?

I’m not trying to downplay rape. I’m not trying to say there are nice rapists. Heck, I’m not even saying I’m smart or anything. I’m just trying to share something that happened to me and how we ladies sometimes find ourselves in awkward situations.

He got tired of me going on and on about it and told me to leave. I guess the konji had left him with my incessant rants. He even escorted me to the bus stop and got me a cab to take me back to school. I told just one friend what happened and all she could say was thank God. A year later, a course mate I knew was on the same gig as I was on, we spoke of this same same guy and we both agreed he was bad news. I don’t know if he has ever raped anyone before, but he was clearly a scam, out to sleep with girls and even collect money from them, promising heaven and earth.

A lot goes on in the society that we don’t talk about. Even directors who sleep with talents. But don’t get me wrong, sometimes we ladies are at fault too. Some of us throw ourselves at these people in a bid to do our will and sometimes come out claiming oh, he slept with me cos of a role, oh, he raped me and yaddayadda. Sometimes, we tell lies!


When I said evil embeds in everyone, there was a purpose for that. Do you know that not only do some girls lie about being raped, some girls actually plan rape for their friends! I’m not even joking about it. My mom has even told me of how a close of friend of hers did such to her and only the Holy spirit prevented her from going “upstairs”. Why? Why must we women also be a problem to ourselves? It’s sickening and disturbing.

Men also get raped by women and even though men don’t come out to talk about it because society has made them think they always have to be strong as men. It’s sad to think that grown women will force young men into sleeping with them. For what exactly? No man willing to get laid? Wow, just wow!

And even when girls voice out, it’s either the parents don’t believe her or they tell her to shut up in order not to ruin the family reputation or name. What of scenarios where even mothers shut their daughters up and even maltreat them because they think their daughters want to snatch their husbands from them. I mean, we see it in the movies but it’s as real as day light. Who should you support? Your child who you painfully brought into this world or the man you married who is causing pain to the child you both conceived? There shouldn’t even be a question about it!


The trend on the internet makes me wonder. Is this going to be all there is to it? The tweets, placards and all. Is that all we can do to fight this menace eating us so deep and endangering our lives? What else can we do? Teach your sons and daughters. Ok. Sons and daughters try to have sense on your own too. Ok. Government jail rapists and sex offenders. Ok. Wait, jail? Is there no way to make them feel pain down there for the rest of their lives? Castrating definitely can’t be enough. And for the women, removing their wombs too can’t be enough 😒 (Just my own two cents though). And after the punishment, what else? Confining them to mental institutions?

What else?

What’s Next?

Beginning of Doom (Chapt 7)

I believe God loves us too much to make  take that step that will definitely ruin us. I also believe it is up to us to see the signs that God shows us and make the right turn instead of driving on a wheel with no eyes to see where we’re headed. But then the devil also tempts you and gives you reasons to why you should take that step that could ruin you and you do so in your own ignorance.

I gained admission four years after secondary school into the Federal College of Education, Osiele, Abeokuta, a school affiliated with the University of Ibadan to study English in Education. At the same time, I was offered admission into a polytechnic in lagos (name withheld). I wasn’t happy with the first admission because the location of the school from my house was a huge distance. I didn’t want to be away from home due to the the financial situation at home and I honestly didn’t want to be away from my boyfriend.

When I told Kingsley about the admission in Osiele, he said it was too far, how will I cope, who do I know there? Who knows Osiele? He said it was better to accept the admission of the polytechnic in lagos which even has a better reputation in the country. How will I go to an affiliate school of all schools! It is worthy of note that Kingsley was also a student in the polytechnic of Lagos (the school in which admission I should accept) I thought about these things and decided to reject the first admission offering me a chance to get a degree in English Education.

I told my mom about my decision and she went all bonkers. How will I reject an admission offering me a chance to get a degree for another with an Ordinary National Diploma (OND)? What was I thinking? Never! She said she won’t allow me throw my future away. I didn’t bulge. At a point, she stopped talking to me and my dad had to intervene.

My mother actually vowed to not pay my acceptance fee into the polytechnic in lagos. She said I should source for the money. My dad could not help at that time because he was ill with the sickness that will later take his life but oh did he beg my mum, who also did not bulge. I wasn’t working so there was no way for me to pay for my acceptance fee.

There was a married man my friend once introduced me to. Yes, he wanted to sleep with me but I refused because I was in a relationship. My friend who was dating his friend, invited me and the married man on a date sort of so we went out to have fun, nothing out of the ordinary. The married man and I began talking about different things. It was here that I mentioned my admission dilemma to him. He showed remorse and sympathised with my situation.

The time frame to pay the acceptance fee into the polytechnic of lagos closed. Days later, the married man reached out to me asking for my whereabouts. Fortunately he was close by so we were able to see each other in his car. We got talking and asked he me if any progress was made towards my admission, I told him no. To cut the long story short, he asked me how much the acceptance fee was and he wrote me a cheque right there and then in the car. I was speechless, he wasn’t asking for sex or any pay back, he was just trying to help me. He asked me if I had a national ID card to cash the money, I responded negative. He then told me to tell my boyfriend so he could use his driver’s license.

When I got to see Kingsley, he was furious. He couldn’t understand why a man with two balls like him will suddenly give me that amount of money. He actually had the nerve to give me attitude but later had to calm down since he was incapable of providing for his girlfriend’s acceptance fee.

When we got hold of the money, we went to the polytechnic. Fortunately for me, Kingsley knew one or two people who could help me despite the fact that the portal was closed for the payment of the acceptance fee. At least if you don’t have money, have connections, that’s what I thought. The man we met gave us a signed note to give someone else who processed everything and all went well.

My dad died and after the burial, my mom gave me money to pay for my fees and hostel accommodation…

His Malice (Chapter 6)

How can someone you love decide not to talk to you for days? How can you even say you love someone and then ignore their heart cries. You must be selfish and I must be very patient to hold on for so long. If not, how else could these two scenarios play at the same time? I wonder…

After that night, the one when he insulted me for flirting with my friend and putting on a crop top, he went ahead to keep malice with me from the 30th of December to 1st of January. Shocking right? I guess with this lover, it didn’t matter what day it was, all that mattered was the malice.

When I woke up the next morning, I greeted him like the respectable young woman I am but he responded not like he had wools in his ears. We were supposed to go to church later that night since it was New Year’s Eve.

Evening came and I tried to talk to my angry boyfriend but didn’t even spare me a glance, he ignored me all the way. I started feeling bad already and knew not what to do. The only thing I knew best was beg so I went on my knees and begged him thoroughly, explaining over again that Joshua was just a friend that even wanted to date my cousin, it was not possible for me to flirt with him. He left me on my knees right there and walked out of the house.

It was time to go to church and we were all dressed, his brother, brother’s wife and I. They called him to ask his whereabouts so we could all go to church together and he said he was coming over. Hours passed and we didn’t see any sight of him. We decided to go without him.

When it was 00:00, New Year’s day, I called him several times and he didn’t pick my calls. Fresh tears and more fresh tears started flowing down my two not-so-puffy cheeks. All I wanted to do was wish the one man I had an emotional attachment with, a happy new year. Was that too much to ask?

It was a new year, why would he want to keep fighting with me? You know, I later saw him in church and tried walking over to him to say something but immediately he sighted me, he walked right out. An applause would have been awarded him if all these walking out was on a run way but all it did was puncture my heart over and over again.

We got home that midnight and I was expecting him to be home. He didn’t show up so I went out of the compound, walking on the streets, thinking i would see him cos I didnt know where he was. I cried over again and kept calling him but as usual he declined my calls. He came home later that morning and I started asking him questions cos I was worried. He still refused to talk to me.

He, his family, friends and I had plans later that day to go out to the beach, Leisure Lake in Lagos, to be precise to celebrate the incoming of the year. Everyone was home by this time and they all knew we had a clash. What they didnt know was that he was going to keep fighting with me for this long.

They all got dressed ready to go out except me. When they noticed, they scolded me and told me to dress up. I had already made up my mind not to go after crying because Kingsley had walked up to me, telling me he wasn’t taking me on the outing. I humbled myself and decided to take it as my punishment but his family and friends persuaded me to tag along.

His friends said if Kingsley was born in the right way, that is, if they born him well, he shouldn’t pay for the gate fee. They were his friends and I trusted their judgement.

We went in a convoy of four cars to the beach. There was one of Kingsley’s friend’s younger sister who came along with her friends. These friends usually flirt with Kingsley from time to time because they thought he was a “sure” person who has money and a car. Little did they know that the outward experience could never portray the reality of situations. You know funny enough, Kingsley loved the attention and kept telling me if I ever left him, the babes will be there for him. He drove them to the beach and I squeezed in with his friends in their car.

When we got to the entrance, people started paying the gate fee and went right ahead. Could you believe that Kingsley in all his self might, paid for himself and one of the babes. He left me there like I didn’t matter. He left me there like I didnt exist in the world we both live in. What could be more humiliating than your loved one leaving you all stranded with no regard? Tell me.

His friends said they were not going to pay my gate fee even if they had the money. They stood their ground and said Kingsley was going to come back out and pay the gate fee for me to enter. They all went in except one of his friends who pitied me and waited outside with me to sort of keep me company. I was crying at the entrance crying out of embarrassment when they went in to talk to their friend.

In his defence, he told me not to tag along and sit at home. They scolded him the best way possible but he said he didn’t have any money on him. They told him to source for it and he later went to borrow from one of his other friends and paid.

Even at the beach, he ignored me. I went ahead to take a walk and also take pictures to lighten up my mood but neither worked. Fine guys were coming at me then. When I say fine, I mean very tall, dark, fine guys, not one, not two guys. They noticed a damsel in distress but I was too gloomy to even pay them heed.

Little did I know that Kingsley with one corner of his eyes, was watching my every move while I was taking a walk and the fine guys were approaching me. It was here that he walked up to me and initiated a conversation. He asked if we could stop fighting and get it behind us. I burst out in tears. Why would he be fighting with me over a trivial issue that wasn’t even true? Why would he keep malice with me for this long? I called him wicked. He apologised and created excuses. We were at the beach so I forgave him.

It was then he said he noticed the fine guys trying to talk to his babe, his fine babe. They wanted to reap where they did not sow and he could not allow it. Who knew that jealousy could be a force that separates or glues you to your partner? This was Kingsley in all shape and form.

Even though he was with me, I still felt lonely but tried to enjoy the outing. You can imagine, Kingsley was shuffling between me and the babe he paid for. I was sharing a man that was supposed to be mine alone. What could I have said or done?

If you’ve read this far, please tell me what you could have done differently in this situation. Don’t forget that I had no one and no money…

Author’s Note

In order to keep the storyteller anonymous, the time and place was changed.

If need be, contact me on IG or follow this link


This is a true life story of an individual, a human being like you and I. In as much as your comments are appreciated, it would be nice if you judge but take caution as your words can make or mar a person’s self esteem. I will in no way condone any form of disrespect on this reality blog.

I hope you loved reading and probably learnt a thing or two from the story. Please note that this is not the end.

Love and light,

More Red Flags (Chapter 5)

In all my years on earth, no one has ever embarrassed me as much as Kingsley did. Any day, any time he felt he needed to say something, he did without a care in the world. He was simply a man with inconsiderate actions. Oh the shame I have had to put up with all in the name of having a boyfriend. I weep for the times I lacked courage to leave him.

It was during one of those public holidays that it happened. Friends and family came to visit so the house was full. My brother’s childhood friend who liked my cousin came to say hi to me in Kingsley’s house which I stayed in (I hope you get the link). This friend, Joshua was a very friendly and jovial person. When you say someone plays, this man plays. We were close, we were friends and it was only normal for us to be comfortable with each other. We were all in the house with the rest of the visitors in one house.

I guess oga Kingsley did not appreciate my closeness with my friend. Kingsley and I hardly played with each other. We were more lovers than friends but then we lived in the same house. Kingsley has a bad habit of sneaking around and eaves dropping on conversations. He was the FBI and I was always the suspect of something unknown to me. On this fateful day, my cousin, Joshua and I were in the kitchen playing, laughing, insulting each other, basically what friends do and I noticed that Kingsley was watching us. It wasn’t new to me so I ignored him.

When the day was over and everyone started leaving, I escorted my cousin and Joshua out. On our way, we saw one of Kingsley’s friends at a balcony and we all stood to greet him which he reciprocated.

It was not even up to two minutes when I received a call through my phone and guess who the dialer was? Kingsley! My darling boyfriend just started shouting at me, asking me about the stupid outfit I wore outside. I was confused. I had to ask him if he didn’t see me before I left the house, which he clearly did.

Kingsley doesn’t have a mind of his own. He doesn’t think too deep and I’m not trying to create an excuse for him. He is just the kind of person who listens to what his friends say and acts on it. It was clear to me that it was the friend I greeted on my way out that whispered one or two things to his ears.

I went ahead and escorted my friends out. On my way back, I was not so shocked by the man I met in the house. He was an angry man spitting insults and raining curses on me. He called me a prostitute, a flirt, a low life, a stupid person who goes around displaying her stupidity to my friend Joshua who actually knew I was stupid but allowed the stupidity linger because I was still actually stupid.

“So? What did I wear? Didn’t you see me before I left the house” I was putting on a crop top with a high waist jean trousers. The crop top was in no way revealing as the trouser covered up my flesh. All of a sudden i’m a prostitute for putting on a crop top, an outfit he clearly saw me putting on before leaving the house. Why didnt he talk then? Fortunately for me, his brother’s wife came to my rescue.

There was also a time he acted out of what someone said. This time, his friend’s mom complained that I don’t come to her house to do house chores. I didn’t understand. Why would I even do chores for a woman who was not even my boyfriend’s mother? But as you can predict, Kingsley got angry with me. He didn’t want to see reasons with me and that made us get into a fight too. How a woman can even utter such words is beneath me, how? And how can a man who clames to love me want me to slave for someone who wasnt even his mother in the first place? How!!

Red flags and more red flags, yet I stayed.

Please share this story to as many people as you can. Thank you in advance.

Important Stuff Right Here

Author’s Note

In order to keep the storyteller anonymous, the time and place was changed.

If need be, contact me on IG or follow this link


This is a true life story of an individual, a human being like you and I. In as much as your comments are appreciated, it would be nice if you judge but take caution as your words can make or mar a person’s self esteem. I will in no way condone any form of disrespect on this reality blog.

I hope you loved reading and probably learnt a thing or two from the story. Please note that this is not the end.

Love and light,

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